4 Ways I’ve Been Dealing With My Doggie Grief
As I was growing up, I used to beeeeeggggg my mom for a dog. I would slyly ask her to visit the animal shelters, I would find people who were giving their dogs away on Facebook or selling puppies in the parking lot, I would ask her to go to PetSmart on their adoption Saturdays and more.
And finally in May of 2015, my day had come. I had found a Craigslist pet post for a man who was selling two dogs, a 6-year-old Bichon Frise and a black and white Shih Tzu for $100. They were in Illinois but not far from our home in St.Louis County. We went to see them in person, and as soon as we rang the doorbell, we heard Bounce immediately. Upon going in and sitting, talking, and interacting, my mom let it be known that we were only getting one dog ( a bummer in my eyes then, but I was taking what I could), and after a long pause, I chose the white ball of fluff that was bouncing everywhere, living up to his name. I still remember the man who we found out made the post on behalf of his mom—saying “yeah, if I had to choose, I would choose Bounce too”. We came back the next day with $50, well, my mom insisted on still paying $100 because the dog was in “pretty good shape,” and we rode off with our new edition, his toy, and blue food bowl.
I was too excited to have a dream I’d wished for so long finally come true, I still can’t put that feeling into words. It was history from there. Bounce has been with me through everything, he's seen me start and graduate high school, he’s seen me through homelessness, through starting and graduating college, he’s met my boyfriends and best friends, and more. A constant source through it all. There’s only a small number of people who know me, but don’t know Bounce. Everyone knew of my love for him, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
On March 31st of 2025, I lost Bounce. He was 16. And it was in a pretty unexpected way. I always had this plan of how he would go, he’d go to heaven at home, I would be there with him, comforting him and being there with him through it all. But it didn’t happen that way. I know a lot of people could relate when I say the grief that comes with losing a dog is nothing to play with. I hate that I sometimes feel ashamed of admitting how hurt I was and still am, and how his death affect me. So many people can’t relate to the love you give to a dog, but in reality your dog becomes family. I don’t want to sit here and bawl at my laptop, so I’ll move along.
Over the past year, I’ve been accumulating ways I honor Bounce and, in a way, have helped me grieve his death and accept it. I figured I could share 4 of these ways with you all in hopes that if you are going through this, I could give you some ideas on how to honor your fur baby and be able to put just a little of the love you have for them and channel it into something you’d be proud to not only display but share with others.
I set up an unofficial fund in his name that goes to good deeds and helping out other dogs I come across
I came up with “the Bounce fund” around January. I started taking the tips I made at my 2 part time jobs I picked up and put them in a jar in my kitchen. Eventually, I started taking like $25 from my paychecks and saving it as well. And throughout the year I’d do small things in his honor. I’d pay for another senior dog’s haircut and bath at PetSmart, for his birthday, I paid for $100 worth of bakery treats at 3 Dog Bakery for other fur babies to have a sweet treat in honor of him, and I’ve donated supplies to the shelter we would go to because they had low vaccination fees for families. Not too much, but every time I do donate or pay it forward in his name it makes me feel a little better. Of course I don’t tell people the whole story of Bounce, which I do think im going to make a little card to leave once I do things like this that’ll tell them about Bounce, but for now the exact reason why is shared with those that are close to me, but it doesn’t erase the feels it gives me.
I personalized his urn
I wanted something that was unique to him, because he was unique to me. It took me a while to to actually start looking because it was just too much at times, but I came across an Etsy seller that was able to customize his urn from his features to his collar that we’d always walk him in. I haven’t actually transferred his remains from the standard urn we got from the funeral home, but I still hold his customized one close to me, I sit it in the living room in front of the couch (his favorite place) with his favorite toy, Mr. Bumblebee not too far behind. In a way I felt as though this was my way of paying him the proper respects. But I hope he can understand why I can’t transfer him just yet.
I don’t put his urn on a shelf to collect dust
It may sound weird to some, but I move it around with us. When we have his brother Brownie for the season I make sure to bring him from my mom's house as well. I sit him on my nightstand, or by my favorite plant in the window. When we trade off with my mom and sister, and Brownie goes to St.Louis, we make sure Bounce goes as well. I don’t know if I’ll grow out of this, but I know that for now it helps me by not forgetting about him and still thinking of him being alright with his nana, or sunbathing by the plants or even being close to me every day.
I try to do things in remembrance of him
Taking Brownie an extra long walk, meeting new friends at the dog park, putting together a blue flower bouquet for the house, or even adding him to my logo. It’s kinda hard to explain this one, but ikytyk.
I’m not going to lie, this one was kinda hard to get through. Harder than I expected. I love to talk about him because I just don’t want to forget about him, but at the same time it’s difficult. They say the grief is love that has nowhere to go— and I have so much love for Bounce.
I hope that you were able to take something from it. And if you do have a fur baby, leave something in the comments that you’d like the world to know that you love about them.
Love you, mean it.
Khyra C
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